Certificate Catalog
Explore our comprehensive selection of degrees and specializations for mastering the art of Strategic Incompetence.
Bachelor of Strategic Incompetence (BSI)
Price: $9.99
The Domestic Sciences
A comprehensive study of household chaos and domestic disorder
Specializations:
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Applied Dishwasher Tetris - Maximizing water blockage and breakage risk
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Bed Sheet Corner Geometry - Why the fitted sheet never fits
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Chromatics of Laundry - The art of mixing reds with whites
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Grocery List Amusia - Buying the most expensive brand of the wrong item
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Meeting Disruption - Expert in derailing productive meetings
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Strategic Bin Compression - Pushing trash down to avoid changing the bag
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Thermostat Mismanagement - Oscillating between Arctic and Saharan settings
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Toilet Roll Replacement Avoidance - Theoretical physics of the "empty cardboard tube."
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Woolen Shrinkage Dynamics - Turning adult sweaters into doll clothes
Culinary Arts & Hospitality
Mastering the art of inedible cuisine and hostile service
Specializations:
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Advanced Toast Scraping - Salvaging the inedible
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Cross-Contamination Logistics - Storing raw chicken on top of the salad
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Hydro-Carbonization Studies - The science of burning water
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Ice Tray Emptying - Leaving one cube so you don't have to refill it
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Microwave Metalworking - Introduction to foil sparks
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Smoke Alarm Acoustics - Using the detector as a kitchen timer
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The Gluten Paradox - "Forgetting" dietary restrictions at critical moments
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Utensil Destruction - Teflon scratching and knife dulling techniques
Customer Service Excellence
The science of disappointing customers systematically
Specializations:
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Email Confusion - Specialist in unclear communication
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Reply-All Catastrophes - Appropriate usage of unnecessary CCing
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Zoom Mute Proficiency - Talking while muted / Unmuting while eating
Maintenance & DIY
For the handy-person who wants to be un-handy
Specializations:
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IKEA Instruction misinterpreted - Building shelves backwards
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Structural Integrity Compromise - "Fixing" it until it breaks completely
Master of Strategic Incompetence (MSI)
Price: $14.99
Business Administration
Advanced techniques in corporate dysfunction
Specializations:
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Project Sabotage - Advanced techniques in project derailment
Project Management
Strategic methods for guaranteed failure
Specializations:
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Budget Overrun - Expert in exceeding financial limits
Financial Management
Mismanaging budgets with confidence and flair
Specializations:
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Team Dysfunction - Creating chaos in team dynamics
Doctor of Philosophy in Strategic Incompetence (PhD.SI)
Price: $19.99
Organizational Leadership
Doctoral study of systematic organizational collapse
Specializations:
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Organizational Chaos - Doctoral research in systemic dysfunction
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Tactical Helplessness - The psychology of "You just do it better than me."
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The Dunning-Kruger Application - Confidently doing it wrong
Strategic Planning
Advanced research in guaranteed failure methodologies
Specializations:
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Cognitive Dissonance in Task Acceptance - Agreeing to help while ensuring failure
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Recursive Delegation - Passing the buck until it returns to the sender
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Strategic Failure - Advanced study of guaranteed failure methods
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The Dunning-Kruger Application - Confidently doing it wrong
Innovation Management
The art of preventing any meaningful progress
Specializations:
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Innovation Prevention - Blocking progress at the highest level
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Weaponized Forgetfulness - A study in selective memory retention
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